Sarah Stitt: Hope led me out of survival mode, and a better Oklahoma also starts with hope

“I was a teenager when I first understood that the drug addictions and mental health issues that affected my home were anything out of the ordinary.

“I didn’t know that most families had a scheduled routine, like going to work, attending school, and participating in activities. Instead, trauma and addiction kept our family isolated in toxic stress…”

Oklahoma First Lady Sarah Stitt: Hope led me out of survival mode, and a better Oklahoma also starts with hope

I was a teenager when I first understood that the drug addictions and mental health issues that affected my home were anything out of the ordinary.

I didn’t know that most families had a scheduled routine, like going to work, attending school, and participating in activities. Instead, trauma and addiction kept our family isolated in toxic stress.

My mother was a victim of generational cycles of addiction, abuse and trauma-induced mental health issues. My dad, despite his own trauma and childhood adversity, did his best to keep our family together and to protect my mom. And like many Oklahomans, my family lived in survival mode.

My siblings and I helped my dad care for one another and watch over our mom. Our goal each day was to prevent the terrible addictions she had from taking her life.

Researchers track 10 forms of adverse childhood experiences, also called ACEs. Many of them affected my family. Statistics show people with four or more ACEs are much more likely to be addicted, incarcerated or have a poor quality of life.

However, my siblings and I are all healthy, thriving and successful adults, because each of us learned how to hope.

Many of us think that hope is a wish or a feeling. “I hope it doesn’t rain today,” or “I hope you have a good evening” are nice sentiments, but do not reflect the true meaning of the word “hope.”

Hope, scientifically, is the belief that your future can be better than today, and that you have the power to make it so. People who have hope know how to create a goal, identify a pathway toward that goal, and have the willpower to achieve it.

Dr. Chan Hellman and his team of quantitative psychologists at the OU Hope Research Center have studied the power of hope for almost 20 years. Over 2,000 published studies confirm hope is the leading indicator of success and wellbeing in children, adults and families.

In my teenage years, I was taught that I could create a better future for myself, that I could set aspirational goals and not just survival goals. This changed my life, and I know it will change the lives of every Oklahoman.

That’s why we launched the Sarah Stitt Hope Foundation and our Hope Rising Oklahoma initiative to bring the science of hope to communities across the state.

Hope is the answer to helping Oklahoma overcome some of the highest rates of adverse childhood experiences in the country. It can help improve our incarceration rates, foster care numbers, and mental health and addiction statistics.

Hope is a skill that can be taught by anyone, to anyone.

Teachers and coaches can instill hope in their students. Leaders and business owners can implement the science of hope in their day-to-day operations. Parents can teach their kids how to set and achieve goals.

As this happens, generations of future Oklahomans will be changed for the better.

A healthy, thriving Oklahoma is possible. It starts with hope.

Sarah Stitt serves as the first lady of Oklahoma.


This article originally appeared on the Oklahoman and later on Yahoo! News. In 2019, Oklahoma Watch interviewed the First Lady about growing up in a home with mental illness

Sarah Stitt Mental Health Advocate